Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Certain Slant of Sunshine


falls across the sky and onto my face to create a distinct mood. Carefree happiness is the only thing I feel. Worries, appointments, assignments, and tasks are long forgotten. The only thoughts that cross my mind are: Why can’t it always be this way? Sun on face = pure bliss. Soak it in while it lasts.
Sunshine is my absolute favorite thing in the world. Call me seasonally depressed, or whatever you’d like, but these simple moments are what I live for. After a long winter, I can’t wait for the sun to come back. I don’t care if it’s still cold outside, as long as the sun shines I’m happy.
There’s a certain slant of sunshine that I absolutely love! I can sense it through a window, or while I’m outside experiencing it’s rays slowly soaking into my skin. I haven’t placed a time on it, or where the sun sits in the sky when it happens, but this certain light creates a mood, and sense of peace. Tranquility is found in a lot of places, but my favorite is in the sun.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Hold On To Me

It feels like God asks so much of me. Really when I think about it, it’s nothing compared to what he did for me. It’s so hard to give up things close to your heart, but when that’s what God asks of you, that’s all you can do. It hurts, it’s hard. It wasn’t easy for God to give up His Son either. Everything will turn out in the end. God only wants the best.
We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. -Romans 8:28
My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything…God will bless you, if you don’t give up when your faith is being tested. He will reward you with a glorious life, just as he rewards everyone who loves him. -James 1:2-4, 12
What God wants is so much better for me. He’s at work in my life now. He’s leading me to things so much better then what I have here. I’ve never seen anything different so it’s hard to take that first step. Trust. That’s what it comes down to. We have to put our whole heart out on the line, be vulnerable to Christ. That’s what’s scary. Everyone on this sinful earth could care less about our hearts. If we became completely vulnerable we would be in pieces on the floor. Giving our whole heart is foreign to us. But God calls us. He wants us to experience this incredible journey he’s set out for us. TRUST. Such a small word with a whole lot of meaning. So powerful, so hard, so scary. Is there anyone here on earth we can completely trust? Someone who has never let us down? I can honestly say I haven’t found someone yet. Can we trust God with EVERYTHING?
Everyone who honors Your name can trust You, because You are faithful to all who depend on You. -Psalm 9:10
When they cried out for help You saved them, and You did not let them down when they depended on You. -Psalm 22:5
It is better to trust the Lord for protection than to trust anyone else including strong leaders. -Psalms 118:8
With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow. -Proverbs 3:5-6
We have to hear God in order to follow His plans. There’s a difference between listening and hearing. We can’t just hear. That’s not enough. We have to LISTEN. Take it in. Understand. And then act. Live what we’ve learned.
God will bless you in everything you do, if you listen and obey, and don’t just hear and forget. -James 1:25
I’ve learned that the hardest thing to do in life is to let go. Let go, give up. What WE want doesn’t matter. God will do with us what he likes, we have no control really. He always wins. Give up your heart. Let go. It’s the hardest thing to do. I struggle with it everyday, but it gets easier.
We humans make plans, but the Lord has the final word. We may think we know what is right, but the Lord is the judge of our motives. Share your plans with the Lord and you will succeed. -Proverbs 16:1-3
Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won’t let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us. We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete. -Hebrews 12:1-3
Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. -Proverbs 4:25-26
Stay focused. God is all that matters, everything else will fall into place. Faith can move mountains. I’m ready for God to use me. He’s taken me on an incredible journey being a Student Week of Prayer speaker but I yearn for more! This isn’t the end. Use me more! Everyday! I’m ready to jump! I’m letting go of all that’s holding me back. God take me as I am! I’m here! Ready! I’m sorry for not listening to Your calls. It’s over, GONE. My focus is You, and ONLY You. I’m finally all here, ready to commit. I give You everything. Take me places I’ve never been, show me things I can only see with You.
Each morning let me learn more about Your love because I trust You. I come to You in prayer, asking for Your guidance. -Psalm 143:8
I know He’ll be on the other side ready to catch me. He’s the only one who never disappoints, although sometimes it doesn’t feels like it. He never lets go. He’s here, always. He’s kept his promise. He’s holding on to me.

Written -February 17,2010

Let Go And Hold On Tight

was the title of my sermon for student week of prayer last Thursday night. I was SO unprepared, but God is good. Everything just kind of came out, all that God wanted me to say. The whole week I had been practicing “Tis So Sweet” on the guitar to sing after my talk. My plan was to make up my own verses to add to the song, but once again, my plans changed. I sat in the music building Tuesday afternoon practicing and trying to get inspired. Then I heard God’s voice. He said, “Try it now.” I had been thinking about writing a song since the day I got asked to speak, but I was waiting to get inspired. I never got that feeling. But God said, “Go, try now.” I sat down and wrote a song in 5 minutes. I just wrote… it just came. Usually when I write a song I do it one line at a time with music which makes it take quite a while. Because it took me such a short time I felt like it was insufficient. There wasn’t as much effort put into it. I was terrified to play it for anyone but I made myself. That night I went to practice in the chapel with Cayla, who was speaking the same night. I told her to be brutally honest, she said she loved it. Dean T came in to pray with us and I played it for her as well. She had tears in her eyes when I ended, and in that moment I knew I had to play it.
When I gave my sermon and sang my song that Thursday night there was no feeling. I was nervous before I went up because my talk was unprepared and my song needed more practice. But when I stood up there, no exhilaration, adrenaline, nervousness, excitement, spiritual high, nothing I had expected. I guess you could say I was at peace. When I walked off the stage still nothing. No joy that it’s over or that I had reached out and touched peoples lives. Nothing. The whole night was spent feeling nothing. I walked through the halls of the dorm and heard girls singing my song. You would think I would be thrilled. Nothing. I was kind of disappointed. I had been expecting and waiting for theses feelings. Nothing. Maybe the calmness and peace was the only thing felt because I had FINALLY let myself go.

Written -February 7, 2010