Friday, April 9, 2010

Pity for "Love"

“…God has left the world unfinished. And with every action, we’re continuing the ongoing creation of the world. The question is, What kind of world are we creating?” -Rob Bell

Last night I had to sub for an R.A. because the seniors are all gone to Walla Walla. I don’t have a phone, so I was borrowing Shay’s to text a friend and find out when we could work on Chemistry together. I also had to study for an English test that was today. It’s a tradition to either have a shower party or meet in Shay’s room and study vocabulary for our test together, but since I had to monitor the halls Shay came down to sit with me. It just so happened that me and the friend I was texting got into a good conversation, so while I was trying to text and study at the same time, Shayla was getting bored, and tired of waiting for me to finish because, let’s just say I’m not the best multi-tasker. She grabbed the phone from my hands and shoved it down her shirt. I tackled her to the ground and I struggled for the phone. She finally challenged me, “If you say you love him I’ll give it back.” I thought about it, and honestly what difference would it make, you can say things and not mean them. “Ok, fine, I love him.” She stared at me with a shocked look and an open jaw as I snatched the phone from her hands. She couldn’t believe I had actually said it. Obviously the word love has a much bigger meaning to her than it does to me.
I’ve never been in love, I don’t even know what love is. You’d think it would be the other way around, I would be the one who took the word love so seriously considering I’ve never dated anyone, and she’s had multiple boyfriends. With each one I hear the same thing, “I think I’m in love!” I just roll my eyes and wonder what she’ll think about this once she actually “falls in love.” How silly she’ll feel.
I hate that love has lost it’s full meaning. It doesn’t carry all the respect it should. It’s totally lost it’s pizzazz! How many times do we hear, “I just love those shoes!” Or, “I’m in love with him!” after two weeks of knowing him. What about “I love yellow!” “I love basketball!” “I love Sabbath.” (signed) “Love, Karalee”…. “love it!”
I hate the word love. It seems like an awful thing to say, but I want it to mean so much more than it does. I want it to reach it’s full potential, all that it’s meant to say. This world has totally dumbed the meaning down… and I guess I’ve given up on trying to fix that, and return to it it’s meaning. And when that day comes (if it ever does), and I actually DO “fall in love,” I’ll be looking for a much better word to describe it. “Love” isn‘t satisfying.
….
The only way I find that love reaches it’s full potential is when it’s proclaimed “God is Love.” How can God be love if love isn’t something incredibly spectacular? Only through God is Love restored… much like the rest of the world.

Written 4/6/10

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