Thursday, July 29, 2010

He Said She Said

With a beaming smile on his face he said, "I finally got the chance to ask her. Now we're engaged!"

She said, "Where? When did it happen? Tell me all about it!"

He went on to tell her how the event unfolded. "It was the perfect time... the sun was setting... we went to the resort for dinner... we walked the boardwalk... and then I popped the question."

"Did you get down on one knee?" She asked.

"No, she told me never to do that. (pause) So what about you, any boyfriends or..."

"Did you already forget! I'm going to be single forever!" They had already discussed this conversation days before.

"Oh yeah that's right. (pause) I really admire that about you. That you don't like boys, well I mean that doesn't mean you're not interested in them but you know..." He stumbled to finish, "You're just different from most girls. Most girls these days always seem to be dating someone. It's nice to know there's girls like you out there."

She smiled at him, glad he had noticed, "Well, I'm not like most girls." I said.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Heart of it


So pure, such good intentions. The love radiated from their music. Their faces held a steady peacefulness. The sound vibrating from their instruments reflected the melody of their hearts. So calm, so good, so appealing. I knew I was in the presence of something mighty and great. Their immediate acceptance left me dazzled. Me! of all people they choose me! "But they're all so... Godly, so good. I must really have them fooled. I don't fit this criteria. I don't deserve this opportunity." We practiced, we played. "...Lead me to the cross where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you, lead me. Lead me to the cross..." The music came out of my mouth, but I wished it flowed from my heart. I envied them, they all had something great. I sang, and what a feeling! It was like old times, I'd really missed it! I felt the passion I once had for singing wash over me like rainfall after a deadly drought. They are incredibly gifted musicians and such an inspiration! They will never know how much it meant to me that they choose me of all people to be apart of their praise. It may just be a little thing, but sometimes it's the little things that can make the biggest impact in life. I gained such a huge blessing from singing with them. I looked at each one of them playing their instruments and I could tell they were made to have it in their hands. They had so much passion and energy in their worship. I knew they were giving all the glory to God. And it felt so good and right to be apart of that. What an expierence! What an atmosphere! What a feeling! God is good! I'm coming back to the
HEART OF WORSHIP

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

happy birthday dear me.


I hate birthdays. Ok, so maybe that's a little harsh. I've been thinking about it all day and I can't decide. When I grow up and have kids should I throw them birthday parties? Because the day they don't get one, they're going to be very dissapointed.

Let's face it, birthdays are days all about the celebration of you, JUST you, being born here, and living through another year of life, and every human on this planet loves that idea, it's just the way we are. It's suppose to be the best day of the year, after Christmas of course. But today, for me, it wasn't. It hasn't been. Every year is a flop. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the hard work my mom put in to throwing me those parties, but they just never turned out right. There was always that one girl at that slumber party who just had to have it her way, or something would go down. Me, being a people pleaser can't say no, and so... the party would go down hill from there... for me anyways. At age 14 I stopped having party's. I would get to pick what we had for dinner, and a month later have a friend out on the boat as my "party." But that was all. I've always held such high expectations for the day of my birthday. It's suppose to be different, better, exciting, but it never seems to go as planned, it's almost always worse than a normal day. Every morning of my birthday for the past 16 years has been full of reserved energy and excitement. But not today, I know better. Today I woke up, and nearly forgot it was my birthday. Today I went to work, and it was a cold day and not very busy, so they sent me home early. Today I sat in front of my computer and counted the 65 birthday wishes sent to me on facebook (that's how bored I was). Today I almost argued, but I'd like to call it negotiated with my mom about the time I would be home for dinner as I went off to visit a friend and her new puppy for a couple hours. Today I arrived at dinner 25 minutes late, got chewed out about it, and sat in silence eating my special "birthday dinner" that I didn't choose, alone. Today I sulked on the coach, not breaking a smile, to let my parents know I was dissapointed in the day. It was just another day, nothing special. And today as I finished my piece of cake my sister helped me make for myself yesterday night I opened up a card. It had a picture of a little girl dressed up in her ballerina outfit. She had her hands on her hips and she looked up with a grumpy look on her face. It read, "Daughter and sister, every year your birthday is a beautiful reminder of how lucky we are to have you in our family." I turned the page and read, "Your eyes are rolling, aren't they? Just say 'Thanks' and have a happy birthday!" That's when I realized, 17 or not, that little grumpy girl on the front page still hasn't grown up.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Practically a Mom


The other day I went to Silverwood for some play time as soon as I got off work. I met up with my "second family." We sat at the water park soaking in the sun. Landyn the 2nd youngest out of the 5 kids, age 4, came over to snuggle up next to me and get warm. Somehow we got on the conversation of driving and I told the family I had just got my license 2 weeks ago. Landyn turned toward me, her innocent, blue eyes looking eagerly into mine. She asked, "You can drive?!"
"Yep!" I responded, smiling and chuckling a little to myself, amazed that I could actually say that now.
"You're practically a mom!"
"What?!!!!!" My eyes grew huge with astonishment. "But I don't have any kids!" I said in disbelief.
"They're coming soon." She replied in a very comforatble, chill way to let me know that I didn't need to worry about it.
I just laughed and thought to myself, I better not almost be a mom!
If all the responsibility of a mom came with getting your license the highways would close, the gas station, and car dealers would run out of buisness, consturction workers would be unemployed, our economy would fall into the biggest depression yet, and our taxes MIGHT be a little less. Let's hope I'm not mom material anytime soon!