Tuesday, October 5, 2010

the way it REALLY is...

I'm SO tired. And COLD. And TIRED... And grumpy! Sheesh! "Karalee!... Karalee! Karalee!" I just have this urge to turn to all of them and say in my biggest, loudest, most intimadating voice, "WHAT?!!!!" But of course I put that urge to rest and turn around gracefully with a small smile on my face and say, in the kindest voice I can muster, "yes?"

Wow. interupption from a girl on my hall at this very moment. How ironic.

I'm so tired of listening to girls complain about there life, or tell pointless stories to me, or say useless comments, and ask for help with homework. I feel like an awful person confessing all of this. I mean, it's my job to be there for these girls. ALL OF THEM! Even the R.A.'s! We're a team, we're suppose to help each other out and be there for support. But I'm just SO tired! Tired of the girls on my hall (don't get me wrong I love them all to death), tired of the freshman, tired of the R.A's, tired of the late night meetings, the dissapointments, frustrations, jealous looks in choiraliers, EVERYTHING that school is bringing! SO TIRED!

There's this little freshman girl that's getting on my nerves to the point that I'm not sure if I can take it anymore. Thank God I'm not Freshman R.A.! One random day at the beginning of the school year when I didn't even know her name, she was sweeping the cafe. She looked up at me and said, "Hi Karalee" and awkwardly gave me a hug... I haven't been able to get rid of her since. I know this sounds awful, but you don't understand. EVERYTIME I see her, or even if I don't see her, she just pops up from behind me and slides her hands around my waste in an embrace. EHHH! I'm not a touchy person. Hugs are a privelage in my book. I don't just hand them out. So getting a hug from her at LEAST 10 times a day is a bit of a stretch. I only hug my closest friends when I leave for homeleave! Sheesh!

I need a revival. Somewhere within needs to come a renewed strength. I need a break. This weekend is coming and I'm suppose to stay here and work, but I'm not sure I can make it that long!

I just pray somehow, sometime soon, God works his magic. And I mean FAST!

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