Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Numbing Disease

I have a disease. It's been with me my entire life, but recently in the last 8 months it's desire to spread is becoming a reality. It's taking over my body, my soul, and my very existance of life. I have a numbness to the world. The tingly and jingly feeling when your arm or leg falls asleep is spread throughout my entire body now because I never stopped it when it had just begun. The obstacles of life are shouting at me everyday, but I face them numbly. Unaware, oblivious of my surroundings, or maybe I just don't care. So numb to feeling anything. It's like a conversation that you're not really involved in. You just stand there and listen. No one even acknowledges your presence. You forget you're actually a person standing there, you think you've become the wall. I guess it's my fault. I should have done something sooner, when I could have fixed the problem. It's like deaths door is just around the corner, and I can't stop myself from running 100 mph. I don't know if I can slow down, and even if I could, could I turn around? Is there still hope? Is there still a reason to hope?

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