Sunday, May 8, 2011

Concluding with 20

This weekend was pretty crazy. Due to the fact that I meshed with so many different personalities, did some crazy things, shared secrets, was together with my family for the first time in a long time, or for the fact that it just feels like it was longer than it actually was...
I learned a lot. I've come to the conculsion that everyday I'm constantly learning. Learning by observance about people, and life outside my secluded world in general. But even more than that, I'm constantly learning about myself. I'm always thinking, always making decisions, always negotiating and bargaining, always breaking things down, and always coming to conclusions.
Spending yesterday afternoon and this morning in Walla Walla got me to thinking about next year a lot. I'm going to be on my own for real. Finally given the chance to be my own person, or maybe I've just finally come to realize I AM my own person, and walking outside of the line IS ok, actually kind of fun. No one can tell me who I am or who I should be. I feel daring and adventurous. I don't have to follow so close behind, or live through other people's experiences, but I finally feel free to experience things for myself.
Yes. I feel so liberated! It's good. But it scares me.
These are my weekend conclusions:
1.) I have changed a LOT this year.
2.) I AM adventurous (though I might have you fooled).
3.) I LOVE a little bit of risk invovled.
4.) Memories are my favorite things to make.
5.) Doing crazy things makes me feel alive.
6.) I love being real with others (though sometimes I'm a bit scared).
7.) I don't worry so much anymore about the little things.
8.) I get easily frusterated with worriers.
9.) Jealousy totally ruins my fun.
10.) Family time makes me feel young again.
11.) I have a lot of decisions to make next year.
12.) I'm scared to date, but at the same time I'm scared I'll never date.
13.) I love my friends.
14.) I'm running out of life.
15.) No one can define me!
16.) The future scares me.
17.) God is a blur.
18.) I'm not ready to graduate.
19.) If I don't take what I've learned and apply it to my life, I've really learned nothing at all.
20.) I am SOOOO ready to start living!

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