Friday, October 21, 2011

Self Defense

This wall is built up over a period of time. By now, it's tall, and thick. Very solid. You can try to break it down, but it's not moving anytime soon, I can tell you that much. It's grown over a span of 18 years, there's no way you're tearing this sucker down.
And when that name pops up on my phone, or that face comes into view, or that voice is heard, I can't help it. It's like a 180 degree difference. This totally new person takes over. Tough as a rock. Nothing is going to hurt this. I can take anything. Yell, scream, hit, punch me in the face, for all I care, I can take it, I'm tough. Nothing's knocking ME down! Nothing!
And when that phone rings, and I answer, and it's you, and I get all defensive and tough, and you tell me you support what I want to do and you're open to new possibilites, you want to go to lunch and you want to help me out, and you say, "Love you. Bye." I hang up and I'M THE ONE who feels like a jerk.
And I'm sorry, I REALLY AM SORRY, because I am. I am a jerk. But that's only because I've been taught how to be.

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