Wednesday, November 30, 2011

LIVE

THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, STOP; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you LOVE. Stop over analyzing, LIFE IS SIMPLE. All emotions are beatiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. TRAVEL OFTEN. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Getting lost will help you find yourself. LIFE is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so GO OUT AND START CREATING. LIVE YOUR DREAM, AND WEAR YOUR PASSION.
LIFE IS SHORT.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Venture into Adventure!

Cracking down on the November bucketlist!



Sunday, November 27, 2011

Choosing

So here's the deal. I have two completely different options. Say a frappacino and a smoothie (made with ice cream so it's not really that much healthier) are right in front of me and I can take whichever one I want, but only one. Here's the problem: everyone knows I LOVE frappacinos, it's a given, it's already out there, I just do, and if you know me, you know that. BUT, secretly I'm beginning to like smoothies a lot more too, but no one knows it. I'm afriad to choose because what if I pick the smoothie? It'll seem random and no one will understand... but I really do love frappacinos... they're sort of the same yet COMPLETELY different! I wish I could hit PAUSE, push both of them aside, look at the menu, and wait for the seasons special. Is that so horrible?

The Little Things


This is what I spent 8 hrs STRAIGHT editing on Wednesday... It was a great day!

Friday, November 25, 2011

I use to paint all the time when I was little. I used up all the watercolors my mom would give to me to make a huge smeared mesh of them all, but it was beautiful to me. And the murky water I'd wash my brushes in, was a blast to watch the colors change each time I dipped my brush in for a rinse. I'd make cards for people, or paint pictures for mommy and daddy. One of them was of the house my dad built for us in Brighton, Colorado and he actually has it framed now, hanging on a wall in his bedroom. I'm not sure why I stopped. When did I become too old or too cool or too busy to paint? Not sure. But today I totally relived those days, and boy it was fun!
This was my painting abode today. All set up with everything I could need.

This was our tree hunting this morning.
I always seem to get the honor of sawing the tree until it falls. Woohoo!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Fam

My mom walked into the kitchen this evening and asked us all what we were doing. It was at that moment that I realized just how ridiculous my family is.
At 7:00 PM tonight:
My dad was upstairs snoozing in front of the TV.
My brother was carrying chips around the kitchen being a bothersome as all little brothers are, with his ipod ear pieces stuck in his ears-doing his own thing, which none of us really ever know what that is...
My mom was pouring herself another cup of "Island Vacation" exotic African tea.
My sister was peeling and blending potatoes and honey for some fancy hair treatment concoction.
And I was baking pumpkin bread (only the best thing on the planet) for a friend.
All the while "Hurts Like Heaven" from Coldplays new CD played in the background.
I totally laughed out loud for a solid 5 minutes about this. This picture is SO typical. It completely and so perfectly describes my family. Basically, we're all weirdos.
My dad always seems to be "power napping".
My brother is always eating and "beats to his own drum" if you know what I mean.
My mom drinks tea ALL DAY! She has about 25 new flavors since I last inspected the pantry. And she just recently informed me that she has about 25 more flavors that she just ordered, on the way.
My sister is always trying something new and crazy to improve herself.
And I love baking and listening to good music.
Yup. This is the fam.

Monday, November 21, 2011

thought-garden

Each morning I wake,
I keep my minds thought-garden
Completely free of self-doubt-weeds.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Validation

Something about EVERYTHING

I'm not quite sure how to describe it, or how to get my excitment across, but there's just something about EVERYTHING that makes life so joyful. I look back on my week and all the things I've accomplished, every quiz I failed... (I mean passed with an exceptional percentage, right?), every class I went to, every assignment I finished... or "read", ever picture I took, every filming experience, every social outing, is such a HUGE I'm talking HUGE blessing. I am SO THANKFUL FOR LIFE! I'm moving, and breathing, and absorbing, and dancing, and singing, and playing, and loving and embracing everything I can in life. I look at people who dread work everyday. They coming home after work, watch TV, and then go to bed hating the thought of waking up in the morning and repeating it all again. I know what that feels like! But if I've learned one thing while living here in Walla Walla, it's to grasp life so tightly, and gratefully and passionately live each day with vigor and excitment. Rather than waste life wishing and wanting, envelop my thoughts in the blessings that each day brings.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Pockets!


This morning I put on some jeans I haven't worn in a couple months. I put my hand in my front pocket to smooth it out and completely unexpectedly found something in my hand when I pulled it back out. You KNOW it's going to be a good day when you find 20 bucks in your pocket, that you never knew you had. YES!

Monday, November 14, 2011

On My Tip Toes

My sister was telling me this morning about the Sara Groves concert she went to last night. Tyler and Jenny opened and she fell in love with them, telling me they were "so cute!" and that they "really got into it, and stood on their tip toes, and nodded to the beat like this, and closed their eyes, and felt the passion." I thought about that picture and wondered what it must feel like to be so completely involved in your passion that people can sense a warmth of life radiating from inside of you.
Today in ICantori we did quartets up in front for the rest of the group. Sometimes I feel like the worst one out of the entire group. I feel insignificant, insecure, sort of like I'm not suppose to be there. Sometimes I wonder what Dr. Scott was thinking when he wrote my name on that final list for ICantori. And after I screwed up pretty bad in front of all those people, I decided I needed to stop thinking and start feeling. See, I think too much about what other people think. What they hear when they listen to me and how that affects their opinion of the person they assume I am. But really, I don't want to care! I want to sing because it brings ME joy! Because it's a passion! Because I love it! Because I feel alive when I do! Because it's in the moments when no one is watching, when I don't care who hears, when I put all my energy and heart into it, that I'm really living. And by golly it feels good! So tomorrow I'm going to stand on my tip toes, and nod to the beat, and close my eyes, and radiate passion.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Mother Teresa

My Smile is a great cloak that hides a multitude of pains.

I am told God lives in me--and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.

I want God with all the power of my soul--and yet between us there is terrible serpation.

Heaven from every side is closed.

I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.

-Mother Teresa


"Loss of the divine presence was the ultimate sacrifice that emptied her soul but mysteriously energized her mission."

Thursday, November 10, 2011

CLASS!

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR SCHOOL! It may be hard to stay awake sometimes because the lectures are so boring and the voice is so lulling... but when I REALLY think about it, it's true! I AM SO LUCKY!


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

250 B. SE 9th St.

"I LOVE MY WHOLE HOUSE!"

Friday, November 4, 2011

Soul-Bearing Restoration


Today in my music class we talked about opera. I love operas. I'm sure my 4th grade experience, performing with the Colordao Opera has something to do with it. The opera we listened to today in class was in Italian, so the teacher translated it as we were listening, and it was like a big story put into beautiful music, and I had to imagine the actors on stage performing. Although almost every other kid in the class was about to fall asleep, I laid my chin in my hands, completely evoked in the story, and I let my mind collect creative images of all the possibilities that could lay ahead.
I almost feel insecure in my differences with the rest of the population on campus. Like loving something so different like operas is viewed as "strange" and maybe it is. It probably is. But I really like it. I want to be cultured. I want to live IN things, with more experiences in life than those that just sit back and watch it happen. I'm starting to realize just how different I am from other people. And slowly, I'm coming to realize that I absolutely love these differences. These sometimes bizarre impulses I act on. I can't wait to fully embrace who I am, who I'm becoming.
I love the stage. It's a secret not many know. And I have to admit, sometimes I literally crave it. If I had to pin-point a passion, that might just be it. Last week, I walked past a door, open just enough for me to notice the piano sitting in the middle of a stage, and just enough to lure me into wishing I could skip all my classes and follow this desire to live so deeply.
That craving never really left, all week this week. It's like there's this lurking temptation in the back of my mind that can never be put on hold. So, last night I decided I just needed to check. I walked to the doors in the back of the music building labeled "STAGE" and pulled on the handle. It jerked toward me a little, but I had to REALLY pull to get in, and I wondered if the door had actually been locked and I'd broken in... literally, broke the door. But I didn't think about it much, 'cause you only live once right? So I sat, and I played, and I sang to my hearts contempt. And then I had someone come and play FOR ME, because that's essential to satisfying the enticement of music. And although it might have been silly - the music sounded so good, and so peaceful with it's wooing gentleness, I wondered if it could be a peace of heaven on earth - I went and laid down dead-center of the stage, almost underneath the piano. It sounded better down there. It felt better too. Like when you breathe in a really deep breath, and then just let it all out. And when I finished hours on end of playing and listening, it was like waking up. Where every muscle in your body is so completely relaxed you don't want to move, but at the same time, you're refreshed and ready to tackle another day, another challenge, another struggle. And that was the best night of the week, because I really needed a revival. It's just enough to pick me up where I'm at, and carry me home.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Sun, Wind, and Leaves.

All day today my mind was consumed in the sun, and the wind, and the leaves. It's like these leaves are constantly falling. And not just on campus, EVERYWHERE! I wonder if there will be any left to fall for tomorrow. I felt like I was walking, driving and running on a bed of leaves, like a golden road, or a puzzle with all the pieces connected. It was almost so good you could taste it. Made me think of a buttery, warm biscuit, or a lemon meringue pie (I don't care for lemon, but it sounds like it would be good). They just lay so peacefully entertwined. There life is so easy, grow and become pretty, and once they've bloomed to their full potential, die, and fall. But even when they're dead, they're still gorgeous. They make the world an appealing place to live in.
I ran for about an hour today, which while I was running, didn't feel like that long. My ipod is dead, and my ear phones have gone missing so I've had to run without it the last couple times. It feels weird, sort of like a piece is missing and I've forgotten some citical, important rule while running. But it's nice, because you can hear yourself think. And you hear the wind, and the leaves seem to swarm around you making their own conversation, embracing you in their presence. I find my thoughts bouncing around in my head and never landing, just constantly running, driving me mad. Forcing me to write them down and get them out. Making room for new ideas. I find my thoughts often reminding me of Emily Dickinson. And don't get me wrong, I love Emily Dickinson. She wrote some of my favorite poems. But, I don't think thinking the way she did, can be a good thing. She might have been a bit crazy, and a little depressed. Or maybe she just new more about the world then the rest of us. Maybe I'm going crazy. Sometimes I seriously wonder. I found myself enjoying my walk around the block to cool down so much, that I decided to do it again. And again. The dizzy and confused feeling I got earlier in the day came back, and my eyesight got a little blurry but I just kept going around. Maybe that's my hereditary alzheimer genes kicking in. Maybe I'm dying.Or maybe, I'm just living.Maybe that's what makes the journey better. Sturggles, difficulties you must overcome, all the while enjoying what you've got. The sun, the wind, and the leaves. And so I walked around the block again and again, enjoying the warm sunshine, and the chattering of refreshing wind among the swirling leaves in all its glory.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Goals for November:

-Bake cookies
~Sleep outside
-Wear a solid color all day and see if anyone notices
~Meet 5 new people and end up with their #
-Set someone up on a blind date
~Send letters to UCA
-Take at least 10 pictures in random places
~Rock climb
-Longboard
~Rake leaves
-Feed the ducks at the pond
~Learn to drive stick shift
(Extra, but a MUST)
-Star gaze on the air strip
~Hot tubb
-Climb a grain elevator

****Wake up each morning with a different thankful thought to carry me through the day.