My Smile is a great cloak that hides a multitude of pains.
I am told God lives in me--and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.
I want God with all the power of my soul--and yet between us there is terrible serpation.
Heaven from every side is closed.
I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.
"Loss of the divine presence was the ultimate sacrifice that emptied her soul but mysteriously energized her mission."