My sister was telling me this morning about the Sara Groves concert she went to last night. Tyler and Jenny opened and she fell in love with them, telling me they were "so cute!" and that they "really got into it, and stood on their tip toes, and nodded to the beat like this, and closed their eyes, and felt the passion." I thought about that picture and wondered what it must feel like to be so completely involved in your passion that people can sense a warmth of life radiating from inside of you.
Today in ICantori we did quartets up in front for the rest of the group. Sometimes I feel like the worst one out of the entire group. I feel insignificant, insecure, sort of like I'm not suppose to be there. Sometimes I wonder what Dr. Scott was thinking when he wrote my name on that final list for ICantori. And after I screwed up pretty bad in front of all those people, I decided I needed to stop thinking and start feeling. See, I think too much about what other people think. What they hear when they listen to me and how that affects their opinion of the person they assume I am. But really, I don't want to care! I want to sing because it brings ME joy! Because it's a passion! Because I love it! Because I feel alive when I do! Because it's in the moments when no one is watching, when I don't care who hears, when I put all my energy and heart into it, that I'm really living. And by golly it feels good! So tomorrow I'm going to stand on my tip toes, and nod to the beat, and close my eyes, and radiate passion.