Tuesday, May 8, 2012
This evening I was driving through my grandma's neighborhood, and a young girl, probably about 5, on a tricycle yelled at me to "SLOW DOWN!" as I passed her. She must have gotten that from her father, I thought. It reminded me of when I was young, living in Thornton, Colorado in a big brown house. My dad would be outside working on something and he'd yell at the top of his lungs, "SLOW DOWN!" as a racing car would speed by. Everytime he said it like he meant it. The look on his face was meant to scare the driver, but it sure scared me. Sometimes it would just be me and my siblings outside rollerblading or biking down the streets and whenever a car went speeding by one of us would yell, "SLOW DOWN!" in our weak, fragile voices.
This quarter has just been TOO busy. Exhausting. I hate it. These crutches suck. I can't put it any other way. And I've only been on them for 2 days. Just today I tripped and landed on my bad foot THREE stinkin' times! It hurt SOOOOOO bad! I tripped twice on stairs and once a few minutes ago as I was walking in my house. Tripped right over the rug, almost put me to tears. I wonder if it's because I'm moving too fast. I'm not careful enough... well obviously I'm not very careful with my body if I ran bloomsday on a swollen ankle (dumbest thing I've ever done). Maybe this is supposed to help slow me down. It's FORCING me to slow down. It cut out jogging at 7 a.m. It cut out soccer and volleyball almost every night. It cut out swimming on Sunday's and Tuesday's. I can't do much anymore at my teachers aide job so they let me out early... I feel useless. I can't do anything and I have to depend on other people to open the door for me or grab my folder for me in choir and put it away. I hate it. I need exersice to keep me happy and give me energy. I hope it's not broken. I'll know better by Thursday. They can't tell now because it's too swollen. My whole foot is a balloon.
Maybe I did need to slow down. But I don't like this lesson. It's a pain to learn... literally, ha!
What I really want to know is, when am I gonna hit rock bottom, because after that, things can only get better right?