Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Resistance in My Story
I'm reading a book by Donald Miller called, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. In it, he constantly compares our lives to a story. Every story has a protagonist and antagonist, negative and positive turns, a beginning and end, things that pass right through, and characters that make a difference and know how to really live. All these things help make an interesting story. He talked about a book he had read about writing called, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. In this book, Pressfield says that it is critical to sit down and write everyday regardless of how you're feeling, because if you wait for inspiration to come, you may never finish your book. He says that every creative person, and probably anyone else, faces resistance when trying to create something good. He says, resistance, a kind of feeling that comes against you when you point toward a distant horizon, is a sure sign that you are supposed to do the thing in the first place. The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be. His thoughts reminded me of the resistance I'm feeling toward going to Costa Rica. When I think long and hard about leaving in two months, I really don't want to go. Why, right? It's a chance of a lifetime! I'm going to learn Spanish and help children learn English! I tell myself that I'll learn so much about myself and it'll be character building. I can come back and be whoever I want to be. I can take the time to change the things about myself that I don't like. I can learn, and grow, and experience life differently, and maybe that will help me live more fully. I will learn to appreciate all the good things I have in my life! All of this is great, yes, but the closer the date gets to leaving in September, the more resistance I feel. I just know it's really going to be a struggle. I can feel the panic of being alone, shaking my bones. It's going to suck for a while, I just know it. But maybe the good will outweigh the bad... it's hard to say. I'm really getting scared. All I can do is hop into the adventure, try to make the most of it, and hope for the best! But really, who has the pen here? Who's writing this story? I'm picking up the pen, and I'm going to make this experience count. Some people argue that God is the author of our stories, and maybe he ultimately is... but God gives us options, he let's us choose our direction --walk with Him, or walk away from Him. So, right now, I'm picking up the pen and writing.