Thursday, September 6, 2012

Needing Directions

The mountain I was SUPPOSE to be on in a week and a half, had a 7.6 earthquake yesterday morning. Fortunately everyone is safe and sound at the school in Monteverde. In San Jose, which is about an hour away from my destination, an entire hospital had to be evacuated. There was thought to be two deaths caused by the earthquake, but later it was found that  there was only one death, a lady that had died from a heart attack. The shock of the quake was felt as far away as Nicaragua and Panama. It was the largest earthquake to hit Costa Rica, since 1991 with a 7.6 magnitude quake that left 47 dead. I'm bummed I missed it. What a story Rachel and Bianca will have when they return to Walla Walla. Last night I found out about this incident and my plans to buy a ticket went skyrocketing down hill. For the past 2 weeks I've called Jeanne everyday to ask when she can book my ticket. I want to leave. NOW! I finally raised the remaining amount of money, $1000 in a week. I'm all set to go! My bags are packed. I wanted to leave on the 12th! Now the principal of the school wants me to wait until the 26th! My dad wants me to get back before May, and I want to stay until the middle of May to get my full 8 months in! Now it'll only be about 7 months... and if things continue, who knows maybe I won't even get to go at all. I don't know what I'm suppose to do.

Earlier today I was laying out by the pool with Shannon, and I wondered aloud if Costa Rica is the place I'm suppose to be. Maybe Thailand? Maybe not... what about Indonesia! Just get me on a plane out of here! Immediatly after I'd said this, my phone vibrated indicating a new text message. Janet Wilkinson, my mentor and friend. Her text asked me what I thought about Costa Rica with all of this going on. Maybe this wasn't the place for me? There had been so many road blocks getting here. I told her I really didn't know... she recommended "an hour alone to still all the chatter and confusion and listen to your heart." Good advice. I need that.

And now I'm in Yakima, sitting on a bed, in a messy room with my best friend, wondering what in the world I'm going to do now. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Do I stay in Yakima a bit longer to be with my friend for the little time we have left in the States, or do I leave for Walla Walla to be with my sister? Do I go to Costa Rica? Or do I find somewhere else? What do I do? When do I go?! I'm tired of not knowing. All my perfect plans have POOF! vanished, just like that, into thin air.

I don't like this. Not one bit. I hope I'm not setting myself up for a disaster. I thought I was stressed before, now it's 10 times worse. Maybe I just won't go at all. Maybe I'll just take a year off from school and be a hermit, and bike across America... homeless, and without any money. But at least I'd know where I was going and what I was doing. My direction in life would be clear... at least for a while, until I hit my destination. But then I would do it all over again and come back home. And maybe I wouldn't get out and see the world, but boy, I'd see America!

1 comment:

  1. That poofing feeling is the worst, and yet there is something fresh about that minute when you look back on it a year later, trust me! :) Love the questions, as someone once told me. :) I'm excited to see what is in store!!!!